my first rejection

“Life is like a box of chocolates, you never know what you’re going to get.”

Forrest Gump

Life often serves us unexpected moments, some sweeter than anticipated, others a bit too bitter. I experienced one such moment that I feel compelled to share.

It wasn’t a tale of romantic rejection or heartbreak that caught me off guard, but rather a professional challenge. Two years ago, I embarked on my blogging journey with a burning question: what should I post next? Wanting to create meaningful content, I hit upon the idea of interviewing insightful individuals whose stories could inspire others.

One of my first choices was Barbara Oakley, a professor at Oakland University renowned for her online course, “Learning How to Learn”. I admired her work and eagerly crafted what I believed to be a compelling interview proposal. Filled with excitement and anticipation, I sent it off, confident in my efforts.

Yet, the response I received was a polite decline. It was a setback that halted my momentum. Disheartened, I hesitated to reach out to others, fearing more rejections.

Recently, I stumbled upon that rejection email again. As I read through it, I realized its value. Sometimes, the right question holds more power than a wrong answer. The questions I had composed for Barbara resonated deeply with me, reflecting my passion and curiosity.

I’m sharing my email to Barbara Oakley here, not as a reminder of rejection, but as a testament to the journey we all navigate—the highs, the lows, and the lessons learned along the way


SUB: Favor of disproportionate magnitude

Hi Barb

I can expect your reaction when a complete stranger suddenly calls you by your nickname. For me, it feels like I have known you so well, that I could call you by your nickname.

Before creeping you any further, I am Gokul from India. I currently work as an HMI developer and a hobby blogger(latenightjournals.com). I think the part you could empathize with is I am your student from your MOOC course “Learning How to Learn” and also an electrical engineering graduate.

I have got to know you from your MOOC course and like all your students, felt a deep connection with you after completing the course. It is not just because of the way you teach but also how much you express yourself as a person that leaves an intense impact on our hearts. The MOOC course, being one of the most popular ones, is a testament to your quality as a teacher. Despite the separation and lack of a physical presence, how well you establish a personal connection with all these students is a wonder for me.

I understand I should not be showering you with all these compliments that you already receive daily. I wrote this mail to ask you for a favor of disproportionate magnitude. I need Philip, Rosie, Bafti, Genti, Rachel, and Irfan, all of them to be with you right now because I want you to be in your best mood to make this happen.

I would like to have your thoughts on some of these questions I have listed below. I guess by definition you can call it an interview. So I could publish it as an interview on my blog.

I know that is asking a lot from you. You have every right to turn it down. But I want to know that if you could answer any single one of them, whether they are just one-line answers, they would mean more than the world to me.

Please find the questions below. You are in complete control here. You can answer it in whichever format is comfortable for you, whether it is audio or text. You can skip or tweak the questions to your comfort as well.

  1. Your life journey started with linguistics and then took a turn to a whole new realm of engineering and became successful as an engineering professor. I recently read a book that disproves the conventional wisdom of ‘follow your passion’ and argues that passion is rare. Most passionate careers did not start with passion but eventually became passionate. So most successful career choices are accidental rather than incidental. I think you are an outstanding example of that as well. So how do you interpret the ‘follow your passion’ advice? Do you agree that the passion hypothesis is false?
  2. Ever since I heard your life story when taking part in your MOOC course, I wanted to ask you one question. When you decide to quit the military to study engineering, where did you find the courage to do that? You could have stopped for many reasons. When you have already made so much investment in linguistics, your age, need for financial stability, your family. Can you elaborate on your mindset for making that brave decision?
  3. Despite spending four years in electrical engineering and a degree that acknowledges me as an electrical engineer, I have never felt like or identified myself as an electrical engineer. Primarily because of my lack of contribution to the discipline of electrical engineering. I see that you have your master’s in electrical engineering and a Ph.D. in Systems Engineering. Despite all this affirmation, how much of you do you identify as an electrical engineer?
  4. Your life journey presents a curious case study for me, but the challenging part was to identify a life lesson from that roller coaster ride. What are your most significant life lessons when you look back at your life? How did those help you in navigating your life? Whether you learn it from a success or a failure?
  5. My last question. I feel like we are living in a world of abundant advice. You can find advice on following your passion and not following your passion despite them being contrary. You can find advice to proceed with virtually anything to the point where they are as good as not having any advice at all. How do you advise the youth to steer their life when the external directions only seem to disorient our internal ones? 

I know expecting even a reply from you is asking a lot, let alone a mini-interview. I understand the reality of it. But in case you find the generosity to reply, drop a mail at gokul@latenightjournals.com.


Dear Gokul,

Thank you so much for your very kind email.  The sad fact is that I’m overwhelmed with the projects I’m working on.  Your questions are great, but would take me so long to do them justice that I’m afraid I must decline.  In any case, however, I wish you the very best!

With warm regards,

Barb

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